Unfinished Sympathy

Cut (25x30cm, oil on canvas, Marseille)

I wish they just ripped my heart out too but the pieces of glasses would cut their hands so they didn't dare. It forms a cage with a black bird inside who is almost free, she prefers to be cut than to be prisoner.

When will the devil take me? (46x38cm, oil on canvas, Budapest)

When the doctor says the word ‘tumor’ the world stops moving and stops existing -as you knew it before. Since I was a child I always thought I knew what loneliness meant but it turns out I didn’t.
Probably Death was the closest person next to me and everyone else was way too far to even attempt to reach. My sight got sharper though because I saw everyone for what they are and now I understand why some people just close their eyes, I wish I could unsee all of this. Not even the illness but people.
Your entire lives are just a sad attempt to avoid death and the fact that it will happen sooner or later. You couldn’t even look me in the eye.
When I went into surgery I knew I might never come back out but at that point I’ve just let it all go. I thought of the Danube, the softness of your neck and that you wouldn’t kiss me back, that was the last closest thing to love I remembered. I might be a princess because you did eventually kiss me 6 months after I woke up from death. The happily forever after part was shorter, but still the longest I ever had.

Don't let the sun set (30x40cm, oil on canvas, Marseille)

I always thought they'll put their hands on my mouth to stop me from speaking but in the end they did it to stop me from breathing. I needed you more than the air and I'm still alive after all these years. No matter how much you will want to wake up, he will always destroy the sun even before it goes down. But even if you can't breathe, try to speak.
Maybe it will work out in the end.

Half full of happiness (24x30cm, oil on canvas, Marseille)

I only had 3 years in my life when I was actually present in space and time and when I didn't long to be anywhere else, 3 years I was not trying to escape. Every morning when I woke up I was happy to be alive and every night I fell asleep knowing nothing can hurt me and death can never reach me because I was with you.
Until I had a dream that you didn't want me anymore and told me to leave. The happiest moment of my life was when I woke up and you were sleeping next to me and realised it was just a bad dream.
But in real I never actually woke up, I'm stuck in this nightmare forever and it's much scarier than the dream itself.

She stole the keys to my house and then she locked herself out

A vonal mi kette nem vaghato,
A pont mi ossze nem kotheto,
Egymassal es egyedul;
A matematika koordinata-rendszer nelkul.

Szamolnam, de nem tudom,
Valahogy mindig megbukom,
Het fejjel nezel ram arvan,
Het karddal harcolok,
De ujra es ujra elbukok

A verem lassan elfolyik,
Labam aladt alvadta valik,
Mar nem latok semmit..
De valami mozgat;

Pedig mar betort 111 ablak,
az ajto nyitva,
De megsem tavozhatok rajta.

Shut the curtains of death ( 35x27cm, oil on canvas, Paris)

You were standing front of the huge gold framed mirror in a green army coat and yet you didn't have a reflection..You stared at me and I felt frozen, you were so powerful and I was so small. Everything else was oversized in this room, you, my feelings and a huge wooden table was between us and you seemed miles away, I felt like I could never reach you and you still stared at me..I didn't have a name, age nor race and I coulnd't see my face in the mirror, I was just someone who loved you even though you never deserved it. Life is just a second. And you took millions of seconds from millions. Maybe that's why you didn't have a reflection in the mirror, you didn't exist at all and our love was the battlefield. (inspired by a dream where Stalin was the love of my life)